Diary: Crying

How does it feels to be parents when let their children go for enrolling the school for the first time?

This post is first published in the Medium. My apologies for the confusion of timeline.

There is no such manual to be parents….

For four consecutive days, I always drop off my daughters to their new school.

The very first day, my mother in law and I were accompanying them from the early morning when they entered the class to noon when they were going home. All was good, except they were looking for me or the grandmom occasionally.

On the second day, I was just there until they finished the morning warming up session. I left them when they started to take off the shoes and I can hear Bening was crying loudly. On the night I knew then from the teacher’s report that Embun was also crying right after Bening.

On the third day, they were crying again right in the middle of warming up session.

Finally, today I left them earlier. At the time when Bening was willing to line up in the first row. Meanwhile, Embun was lining up in the back of the row and kept looking at my position. Then I have to find the right moment to sneak out and left them.

From this story, I realized that loving someone does not mean that you have to be there. Sometimes you also have to let the loved one to be there alone. Just like in the case of my daughters, I have to leave them with strangers and the new environment. Then they will be growing up by themselves and when it comes–I guess it will be very soon–they will be starting to forget me.

From the parent’s point of view, this condition is frightening. It means that the parents are growing older, whereas the children are busy with other businesses, friends, and appointments.

There is no such manual to be parents since this function seems to be evolving as the times goes by and children are growing up. It turns out that being a parent means a constant transition to be able to deal with many uncertainties and challenges.

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